tomorrow…finally…i go home. i cannot wait, really. i mean, i was so ready to blow this popsicle stand weeks ago. i’m so done with this place. and i haven’t spent this much time in colorado since i gradated high school.
i never spent summers after college here, once i broke free i was gone. being stuck here for damn near a month is overwhelming; stifling and disorienting. sure, there are a few things i enjoy â€” real mexican food, for one, hello â€” but the drawbacks far outweigh the benefits. you know, if there are any.
of course, i know i was all ‘oh my fabulous friends’, but you know what? most of them don’t even live in the valley anymore. they’re just round these parts for the “holiday season”, or for me specifically…so it’s not like they’re part and parcel with the trapped at home thing.
and i know, i KNOW, how i’m always saying i loathe new england (i do), but…at least out there i’m on my own and living my life on my own god damned terms. plus, i can at least find some fresh basil whenever the fuck i need it.
i have always hated living out of a suitcase and being uprooted. i like to be settled and have a place for all my things, hell, a place for myself. even sleeping in my own old room hasn’t felt right. it’s not mine anymore, nothing here is mine, and i’m damn uncomfortable with all of it. of course, it doesn’t help that as soon as i get out here i come down with the worlds worst cold. every.fucking.time.
it’s just, i’m so tired. and sick. and sick and tired of being sick and tired. i just want to go home.
just one more day…