seth rogen AND adam sandler? together? in a movie?
oh hell yes and sign me up, people!
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category : amuserings & musings, movies
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category : daily grind, movies
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so, finally saw the watchmen last night. i cannot speak to whether or not the movie destroyed the book or not because i have not yet read it, but it was enjoyable enough. the thing i’ve noticed is people either love the shit out of the movie or it totally sends them into a frothy, uncontrolled rage. those are the main two critical responses i’ve seen. i fall into neither of those categories. i could take it or leave it: the movie wasn’t great, but it wasn’t horrible either.
some down sides:
- 3+ minute awkward sex scene to fuckin’ “hallelujah” (which is hilarious after the fail!sex scene where night owl can’t get it up).
- really, slow and boring plot
- not enough blue penis
- that fucked up rabbit-eared tiger thing that had no damn explanation
some up sides:
- dr. manhattan is totally fuckin’ naked, and you see his blue peen a lot (but not enough, obviously)
- it was sufficiently violent and gory enough (hooray for zak snyder)
- the characters actually had some character, and were not cardboard-cutout props of themselves
- i liked a lot of the still-photography style shots
the movie actually lived up to expectations, i guess you could say, because i didn’t really have any. i went looking to be entertained, and i was. of course, the damn near three hour run time was long for so little that actually happened. i would have done better with a movie that was nothing but rorschach’s psychotic antics and the comedian blowing shit up left and right. they were the most engaging characters.
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category : movies
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last night we finally saw slumdog millionaire. i don’t exactly know what i was expecting from the start but my god. utterly.blown.away.
i was definitely not expecting such a heart-stoppingly beautiful film. of course, everything that danny boyle does is fantastic, and i should’ve known better. trying not to judge the movie on hype alone (everyone i know has been telling me to watch it) we put it on late last night after not really much consideration. just one of those “oh man, i hate tv let’s watch a movie” things. definitely NOT disappointed.
this is a fast-paced, gritty, heavy-ass movie. a lot of it is fucked up and harsh, but really beautiful and moving at the same time. says the boy “it’s like an indian version of requiem for a dream”. it’s the kind of movie that totally punches you in the gut just to get your attention.
and normally i am not a fan of the generally “heartwarming” story. but this was done in such a way that it was fantastic, and if you get a happy ending it’s ok cuz it’s fucking earned.
love this movie.
love it.
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category : bitchery, movies, teh wurld
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it should be pretty damn evident by now that my love for all things seth rogen is overpowering. i love him in the deepest cockles of my wee lil heart, i love him in nearly every thing he’s ever been in (because i can not yet love the things i have not seen, even though i do). so obviously, i am beyond excited for zach and miri make a porno because it combines two of my great loves: seth rogen and kevin smith movies.
it’s like hollywood took pity on me for such disastrous pieces of tripe like juno, the dark knight, catwoman, white chicks and a slew of other utterly fetid, piece of shit films and said: ‘yes, there is a god, and her name is alanis morissette and she wants you to enjoy watching movies again.’
and by god i will!
but…while i’m uber-excited for this film, and have maybe watched the ‘i’m fucking seth rogen‘ video about 18 bajillion times (ok, and maybe, maybe i have it on my ipod…possibly), i don’t get what’s so “offensive” about this poster. it’s pretty god damned dull, actually. what is it about s-e-x (or rather, the implication of) that gets everyone’s figurative (or literal) panties in a bunch?
i mean, come the fuck on, people!
there are far more insinuative ads on television every day. anyone seen the “his&hers” lube ads? what do they think the lube is for, basting a damn turkey (worst.euphemism.ever)? no it’s for fucking and the commercials clearly imply that the people are going to use the special lube expressly for fucking yet no one is up in arms. or maybe they are…but i’m too lazy to find out, cuz i don’t care. so you have that and about 100 viagra ads an hour and the man-turns-into-pig-turns-into-man-to-fuck-you trojan ads and god knows how many sexist beer commercials and this, THIS innocuous little poster for a movie that isn’t even really a porno gets banned in the US?!
jesus.fucking.christ.on.a.crackpipe.
how exactly did this country end up the most puritanical, conservative, fucked-in-the-head-stupid about sexuality? there’s not fucking concern for sexual and reproductive health (nay, safe sex is inappropriate and abstinence is the way! only gay men get AIDS cuz they can haz buttsechs!); there’s a disgraceful disregard for women’s sexual health and sovereignty over their own bodies; there’s an alarmingly blasé in the judicial system regarding sex crimes and assault; there’s prostitution and pornography and a high demand for various kinds of smut, yet it’s looked down upon; i can’t fucking name a politician that hasn’t had some sort of lame ass “sex scandal” and yet…and yet…sex is taboo.
i dread the day when the whole nation is a full-blown idiocracy, where the rarity is a non-pregnant teen and planned parenthood is a thing of the past, gone the way of dinosaurs and sex ed classes. oh wait…what sex ed classes?
fuck.
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category : blahblahblah, movies
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movies that are NOT the dark knight yet opening this week or playing in a theatre near you:
- Exte: Hair Extensions (Ekusute) – a japanese horror flick about, yes hair extensions…
- Mongol
- Wanted
- Hellboy II
- SPACE CHIMPS!
- Journey to the Center of the Earth
- WALL-E
- The Visitor
- Hancock
and a dozen more indie and art films. basically, my motto this weekend is: ANYTHING BUT the dark knight. go see it if you want, enjoy…vaya con batman. but don’t expect me to. as far as i’m concerned, no matter how awesome heath ledger is (and he’d be the only reason to see the movie at all), he’ll never even come close to comparing with jack nicholson’s prince-loving, purple-suit-wearing, i’m-gonna-fuck-your-shit-up joker. sorry, it’s just not going to happen.
plus, christian bale is full of FAILURE.
“Tell me something, my friend. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
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category : amuserings & musings, movies
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after the animation show, my weekend took a decided upturn. what could possibly improve it — especially in the face of a particularly shitty sunday coming up? why, the Incredible Hulk, of course!
now, i’m a bit skeptical after the giant-fucking-flop that was ang lee’s 2003 attempt at the hulk. i mean…i don’t even clearly remember wtf that movie was about exactly. jennifer connelly was the best part of the whole damn thing (a. she was in labyrinth thus i love her forever and b. she’s fucking gorgeous) and her talents were utterly fucking wasted on that steaming pile of trash movie. in fact, the only thing that movie had in common with the actual hulk world was: there is a dude who gets big/violent/green when he’s angry. and that’s about it.
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