but then again, i thought you knew…
u n d e r w h e l m i n g
itchy uncomfortable in skin like a sweater made out of old straw, the day does nothing but irritate the frenzied throat weasel that lives to make every other word collapse in a fight of coughing go wild. sleepy eyes droopy with the knowledge that itâ€™s only early evening and itâ€™s only tuesday â€“ even though itâ€™s already august, and already the end of a summer too brief and spastic to be properly savored in those rare occurrences where the oppressive heat didnâ€™t require you to chew the air just to breathe. the world is a haze. today, nothing makes any sense.
d u p l e x
jealousy and discontent are neighbors. jealousy always badmouths discontent at block parties. discontent canâ€™t leave the house without changing fifteen times exactly â€“ fourteen doesnâ€™t feel right and sixteen is overkill. discontent canâ€™t smack jealousy in the face for being a little bitch, because conflict is upsetting, and the post-smack down high wears off far too quickly, leaving him restlessness. jealousy spends his time bemoaning his boring job and lamenting discontentâ€™s ever-changing occupations. discontent can rarely hold a job for more than a month, usually leaving after banging the bossâ€™s daughter.
d i a l o g u e
rolling on the tip of my tongue: sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet, sometimes carefully thought-out and planned, most often impulsive flights of fancy, usually nonsensical and often ridiculous. itâ€™s the silence that is always roaring in my ears, the flavor of all the things that remain unspoken too much to handle in one sitting. it bites back, choking, suffocating, smothering. let me let me let clear my throatâ€¦he said, she said, i said, you said, they said, we saidâ€¦nothing. everything. anything.
l u s t
iâ€™m going to be honest, i desire you. plain and simple. i have wanted you for so long iâ€™m certain i always have. sometimes i catch myself thinking about you, staring, dreaming. the bottom line is we belong together. itâ€™s like you were made for me. and by the middle of the month iâ€™m going to own you — iâ€™ve got it all planned. youâ€™re the only one for me.
a v o i d a n c e
if i met myself from five years ago, iâ€™d most likely want to kick my own ass. old me would look at new me with a sense of dread. new me would try to refrain from punching her in the face. she would quietly think iâ€™m a failure while i silently think sheâ€™s stupid â€“ because we both donâ€™t like confrontation.
t h r e e
every time i go to a restaurant that has a napkin dispenser i have to take three napkins exactly. three napkins, every time â€“ no matter what. i donâ€™t know why i do this, or when it started. i just do it. even if i donâ€™t use them, i take them.
s i l v e r & b l a c k
for your information, day five of training camp is coming to a close. Preseason starts soon and I can hardly contain myself. I will miss tim brown, but it amuses me to no end that we now have randy moss.
c o n f o r m
one of these things is not like the other. because the other scares small children at night and kicks puppies in the street. but he can make a mean martini.
h o p e
donâ€™t let me be sick this weekend. donâ€™t let me be sick this weekend. please, donâ€™t let me be sick!
g o o d b y e
play mad libs with your emotions and see what happens.