it’s the end of the world as we know it!
…and i feel fine.
no, seriously. i do. no worries whatsoever about whatever ominous portents today’s date holds. it’s just another day, seriously. i’m sure the superstitious and whatnot will be crapping their pants continuously until the clock rolls past 11:59 p.m. tonight, but whatevercakes.
it’s actually been a pretty spiffy day, nice weather, survived job #1 without going on a murderin’ spree, job #2 hooked me up with teh free pizza, all in all…spiffy. although, i do think it’s mildly amusing how any and all babies born today are being regarded as most likely ‘demonic’ and ‘cursed’. then again, babies fucking suck.
in fact, about the only singificant thing about today is the fact that they’ve re-done the omen. and are releasing it…woopie. i am not amused by the fact that julia stiles is in it. or you know, that they even bothered to remake it at all. what’s the point? what’s next, rosemary’s baby starring katie holmes? actually…you know, that would be funny.
and thus, i run out of ideas…isn’t it always the case?
- would you rather:
- strangle a perfect stranger with your bare hands to death OR push a button knowing the result will kill 10,000 innocent people around the world?
i dunno…the boy says it only takes 3 minutes to choke the life out of someone, and in the interest of science, that could be tested…but, i don’t like touching strangers or dead things. i could probably push the button…unless it has like spikes on it or something. - pinch a nun’s ass OR pinch a priest’s nipples?
the nun would probably get upset & be all screechy with anger. and since i’m not an eight-year-old boy, the priest totally wouldn’t care if i pinched his nipples. whereas, i would not want to pinch a nun’s nippulars. - live forever in the body of a seventy-year-old OR live for 30 years with the body of a 20-year-old?
buh, who the eff wants to live forever? unless you’re like, stuck in an anne rice novel & then you live forever and are hott. i’d go for option #2 - get collagen injections until your lips are three times their normal size OR get 30 piercings all over your body, half of which are in plain view?
collagen injections are fucking retarded. i mean, why? what purpose could they possibly serve? and you can get damn near 30 piercings all in plain view in just your ears. it would hurt like a bitch, but i’d do it. could be fun.
lastly, fucking check this shit out, awesome! i don’t know why they had to remove the third arm exactly, but that would be so rad. clothes shopping would be a bitch, but imagine the possibilities. like, super kick-ass guitar playing! or you know, something cool. it could make wanking kind of difficult, or to say the least, confusing. but more importantly, how does shit like this even happen? do you see the arm? do you? it’s fucking fully-formed and shit!
no teeny little deformed nubbins of tissue, a whole ‘nother working arm there. that’s pretty bad ass, if not a little freaky and shit. i guess, you know, if you’re going to have a baby you should at least have some sort of baby with cool add-ins. like another arm (or leg!), x-ray vision, laser sighting, something like that. regular babies totally suck, and do not have cool powers, abilities, or growths. regular babies need to step it up a notch.
pffft. I’d go for the stranglin. much more satisfying.